As I looked down at his face straining to squeeze all of my cock into his mouth, I knew it was over.
I’d been seeing my ex on and off again for a while. We’d be going for dinner and hanging out, and it’d been really sweet, same as usual, tactile and loving. Same conversations, same amnesia of the issues we'd faced before.
We hadn’t had sex for over two years, so the ultimate test for our relationship surviving a reprise was to see if the sex was still alive, but unfortunately it was served up as something a little less than breathing. We always used to have the most amazing, passionate sex. He’s pretty hung and he would fuck me really deep & good. We chemically connected and our scents intertwined to create a cacophony of senses. Our sex was wild. We would roll around for hours covered in oil, fucking over and over again. It was mind blowing, and so regardless of our others issues, I could always count on bedroom time to save the day.
However, the reprise was not what it used to be. Our connection was off. Our kissing was disjointed, and every time I looked into his face while he was fucking me I saw the crying mess on FaceTime that repeatedly broke my heart. As he sucked my dick I looked at his face and felt weird. My dick went from hard to totally soft in about 10 seconds, while in his mouth, and it felt out like a noodle onto a plate. It was not cute, at all. I urged him to just fuck me, as he still had his hard on, and it would let me escape the mortification of what just happened. We fucked, it was alright, the bed was creaking like crazy which just added to the awkwardness of the moment, and instead of being in a romantic sequel, I found myself in a situation comedy.
The following morning we had coffee together, and then he left. With a kiss on the lips, and a close of the door, I’d found peace in knowing that it was over. After 3 years of non stop drama, extreme thoughts of sadness and love, heartache and pure passion, it was finally over. I was ready and able to finally walk away from something that had changed my life forever. I had been given the signs that I needed. I finally understood what closure meant, and how when it is delivered to you, you can’t even question it, it’s just apparent, it’s there, and it’s visible. I was free, finally. It was just me again.
writing my thoughts straight from my head in london town